Sandbox of Thoughts

u had your treat, now im waiting for mine.

celebrating 22 years of greatness.

PS: great can possibly mean big or very large in certain cultures

You never really know how strong u can be until the only way forward, is the be strong.

It wasn’t my choice to be put in an environment where others are weaker in character, lacking in willpower, and contented with their sub-standard way of life. What do i mean by sub-standard? Like living in their comfort zones, never pushing beyond what is easy, and u know the rest that follows, blah-blah.

“What to do, like that lah”, “just suck thumb” are like the  most commonly used phrases.

Being in a situation like that for a prolonged period of time will eventually mold you into one of such qualities.  I have been soaking myself in a pot of poison. And now i have to pay the price.

Just because others  are comfortable with their misfortune or lack of opportunity doesn’t mean I should expect any less from myself.

Its not that I don’t have a dream(goal) for my own life. Its just that I have too many excuses for my indisposition to be serious and put in effort. The above would be the latest excuse.

Certainly there are times when I am suddenly inspired to take charge of my life situation and actually do something about it.

I have taken the time to identify some of these things that knock me in the head, and fart me in the face.

- when i have a talk about “the future” with someone else

- when i suddenly feel like my hobby could be my career

- when my mum shoves a stack of further study brochures in my face

And when i get these reality checks, i realise that…

- its 2 months to uni admissions exercise

- 8 months to ORD

- 21 years of breathing, which can be translated to being an adult as defined by society

My life has been on auto-pilot for too long. I think its time to take back control.

I do want to have a safe landing, afterall.

Remember when getting high

meant swinging on the playground?

When protection meant wearing a

helmet?

When the worst thing you could get from boys were cooties?

Dads shoulders were the highest place on earth and mum was your hero?

Your worst enemies were your siblings?

Race issues were about who ran the fastest?

The only drug you knew was cough medicine?

The only thing that hurt you was skinned knees?

Goodbyes only meant until tomorrow?

And we couldn’t wait to grow up.

Yeah, those were the days…..

All is well.

I am now fully able to put my name down on official documents.

Need a guardian anyone?

I somehow feel that one day I’ll totally regret what I said about the guardian thing. Haha.

Taiwan in November. How does that sound?

Im about to miss the most important holiday ever. Army really does suck.

what is the deal with young people nowadays. they should erect an idiot scanner and put a limit on the number of idiots allowed into a performance. i really dont like to be trapped in the middle of a loud music motivated mosh mob.

inflated condoms, shoes and watches being thrown, wtf?

this is disgraceful singaporean behaviour.

i feel so old, writing like this.

I dont know how the hell but the fact is that I have less than a year before I ORD.

The 2 years(22 months in my case) of National Service was supposed to be my excuse of a buffer period, or time to think, about what to do with my life.

Half that thinking time has now passed and, it is about 8 months to uni applications and I am undecided on which path to take.

God help me. Time is running out.

Hey people,

THEY BOUGHT MY BULLSHIT!

(some of you would know that i am talking about my recent run in with the traffic law makers)

I refuse to believe that my lame excuses were responsible for my recent acquittal from a road parking charge, and the hefty fine that supposedly ensued.

I must thank god for making me bold enough to stand up to them. Or rather, to give bsing my way out a chance.

I know I ought to be silently thankful, and just humbly walk away from this saga  making sure to be careful not to repeat the similar mistake again, to avoid being placed in such a similar predicament.  But. I cant help feeling that the handling party, with its troublesome nature, felt that the case itself would be too troublesome to get to the bottom of. Think in terms of the amount of the fine, the time that would be needed to sort it out, and the unjustified labour cost of ironing everything out.

Am i not making sense? Am i being too ambiguous? I cant help it. I am scared.

Bottom line is, I have a reason to be merry. Lets drink to it.