You never really know how strong u can be until the only way forward, is the be strong.
It wasn’t my choice to be put in an environment where others are weaker in character, lacking in willpower, and contented with their sub-standard way of life. What do i mean by sub-standard? Like living in their comfort zones, never pushing beyond what is easy, and u know the rest that follows, blah-blah.
“What to do, like that lah”, “just suck thumb” are like the most commonly used phrases.
Being in a situation like that for a prolonged period of time will eventually mold you into one of such qualities. I have been soaking myself in a pot of poison. And now i have to pay the price.
Just because others are comfortable with their misfortune or lack of opportunity doesn’t mean I should expect any less from myself.
Its not that I don’t have a dream(goal) for my own life. Its just that I have too many excuses for my indisposition to be serious and put in effort. The above would be the latest excuse.
Certainly there are times when I am suddenly inspired to take charge of my life situation and actually do something about it.
I have taken the time to identify some of these things that knock me in the head, and fart me in the face.
- when i have a talk about “the future” with someone else
- when i suddenly feel like my hobby could be my career
- when my mum shoves a stack of further study brochures in my face
And when i get these reality checks, i realise that…
- its 2 months to uni admissions exercise
- 8 months to ORD
- 21 years of breathing, which can be translated to being an adult as defined by society
My life has been on auto-pilot for too long. I think its time to take back control.
I do want to have a safe landing, afterall.